haha

hang out with fareq and saf just now . the word of the day : 'gila indie !' haha fareq says that for more then 10 time i guess . well who would have thought that the goodie-goodie saf turns into some indie freak ? mind you , i have nothing against indie .

but to me it's weird seeing a guy wearing colored skinny jeans . and it's quite a shame reading a column about the band 'hujan' . they are having some attitudes and that is quite shameful . and oh , we did something terrible today .

we found a small lizard and they decided to catch it . we put it inside a box with a hole . saf took out some firecrackers and fill the box with it . so yeah , the box exploded right in front of my eyes . gahh haha at least it's better than exploding a frog at raya when we're 10 years old .

fareq , saf and shad had some cruelty running in their blood . haha i miss you guys already , come stop by at my house anytime :D

i'll be leaving for bandung tomorrow . Alhamdulillah , i'm in serious need of a holiday . and some shopping spree . haha i'll be looking for stuffs like these :

so i'll be back from bandung this sunday , until then , i won't reply any messages including adri's . haha :D

i need more money ,
have a nice day .

hell

haha yeaaaahhh

AKU LUPA KAWAN !
puas hati ?




i need a holiday .

for them .

i don't even know if i love you anymore . i won't give in that easily . i feel stupid , i feel nothing . i don't know why i'm the only one who's there to blame . i'm starting to hate you .


i need nothing .

death

a lot of suddent death occurs nowadays . such as megat's father and auntie sue . i was shocked after hearing the news that they already died . i feel sorry for megat , but i didn't have the guts to say anything . because i didn't know how it feels after losing the one that i love the most .

then i start to think , how would i react when shad is not here anymore ? i decided to just let itself be a mystery until i experience it . while browsing through myspace , i came across megat's page . my heart grows sympathy and sorrow . looking at his picture with his father and listening to his page's song .

while on auntie sue , she's one of the health freaks that i've ever known . but she suddenly died because of a heart attack .

it shows that when god decided to take your life away , it happens . just like that . i admit that i didn't make any preparation for the after-life even though i know that i should . i am afraid of death , i really am . but deep inside i know , that even how afraid i am , death will always come to me . and to you .

let's spend a minute or two to read al-fatihah for Allahyarham megat's father (sorry , i tak tau your father's name) and Allahyarham auntie sue .


i need to pray .

pathetic

i am sad , but i don't know why . maybe because papa bought a new handphone for my sister and brother but i didn't get any ? heh naaah , i don't think so . last year papa splurged his money for my camera and i should be grateful . 2 more days of exam and i'll be having my holiday . which i would spend my time on getting a rest . and a visit or two (or maybe more) to ac . a friend once said 'cool sgt ke kalau boleh pegi ac tu ?' . i almost , i repeat , almost laugh at that statement . idk , maybe it sounds funny ? haha i kinda dig my brother's new handphone , but hey , who knows if there'll be another new cool handphone on sale ?

i need a new handphone .

have a nice day .

ramblings

some people called me snobbish and arrogant . it's because they didn't know who i really am . i guess no one in this world knows the real me . so let's talk .

i need cadbury's chocolate .
have a nice day .

wtv

hmph for some certain reasons , my laptop is taken away so i'm using my brother's . he's sleeping next to me so let's not talk about anything personal here . a lot of incidents occurs this week . and one of them makes me swear that i wouldn't trust people easily . including my own bestfriend . it seems that i trust people very easily even though not all them can keep it as a secret . i'm having a lot of problems and i didn't know who i can talk to .

so i decided to call caped . it turns out that he's at the cinema , watching 'what happens in vegas'. i said i'll call him later . but suddenly he msg'ed me and ask me to call him back . i did and ask him whether the movie is over and he said yes . so i told him everything and i cannot held my tears anymore .

then he told me , that actually the movie is not over yet , it just started . i cried again listening to what he said ; 'friends are more important than a movie , right ?' then i start to wonder , how many of my so-called bestfriend would stop watching a movie at the cinema when i'm having problems ? one thing for sure , i know that i shouldn't call anyone my best friend . i'm starting to think that shad and caped is my only bestfriend .

i need starbucks' frapuccino green tea .

have a nice day .

once , twice , thrice

this is my 2nd post for the day . suddenly i feel guilty towards almost everyone i know . that guy hated us , somehow my instinct tells me that it's because of me . another guy told me that his friend gets heart-broken because of what i did . his and her relationship gets even worse , also because of me .

and for the 2nd time , i'm dissapointed at myself .

fuck fuck fuck

urgh i'm stressed with my exam papers , especially account . suddenly i wish that i didn't take account in the first place :( my exam ends on 21 may . until then , i'll be studying hard (heh study lah sgt) ah i'm having a problem with 'A' and 'B' . A told me a secret which i should keep on my own .

but i really really trust B so i tell B about A's secret . and guess what ? A called me and ask me for why i break my promise on keeping his secret . i was dumbfounded . how could B ? i feel so guilty to A . he also said that he would never ever tell me his secret . i guess that from now on , A won't be as close to me like he used to . urgh , me and my big mouth . in case A's reading this , I'M REALLY REALLY SORRY ! *you know who you are .

hmph i guess i trust people easily .

aaaaa tension tension tension ! i need a hug ,






and a megamac .

what lan

people change , that's life lah kan ? some ppl like me , decided to change into a better person . but it turns out bad . i started to forget my old friends , leaving them behind -_- i know that this is my mistake , so hey , let's fix it . it is quite sad to know that some people don't like the new you . their main reason is "you've changed' but what the heck , this is life mannnn , PEOPLE CHANGE . take it or leave it . don't use that subject for an excuse for why you are avoiding that certain person . haha suddenly i feel like saying these things (:

oh , school holiday is coming soon but i still have my perdagangan , acc , science , agama and add math's mid-year exam . and i am scared to death of acc , but i seriously don't have the mood to study it . btw , i've cut my hair . it's a bit shorter and i miss my old hair . but because my hair is having too much split-ends , i decided to just cut it all off . so from now on , i'll take very very good care of this wavy , dry hair . and it made me think , why am i the only one having wavy hair in my family ? (except for papa lah , seriously ikut rambut dia -_-)

i miss foosball and hanging out with fida , caped & spanky ! haha cuti ni ac mariiii , suruh caped belanja foos (:

have a nice day ,

*sigh

i'm not close with 'A' and 'B' like i used to . and it sucks without having them by my side . i miss those moments that we share together , i really do . but everything changes on that one certain day . everything falls down , i feel like crying my heart out . i feel guilty for all of this .

i said to myself that i will try to not get too close with them anymore , i couldn't even look at his face , nor talk to him . it's weird how we used to have this one loud conversations that suddenly it comes to this ; i didn't have the guts to say anything .

i don't want to break his heart again , i feel bad for it . it makes me think that maybe i shouldn't go to them and act like nothing ever happens . i'm sorry for everything , i know that nothing could change this situation .

just promise you won't forget me ,

and i'll leave you with this lullaby tonight .