Friday : drove around Shah Alam with Ili and Fatnad. Picked Fir and send him to DEMC. Borrow Shidy's Eclipse. Went to Bukit Jelutong. Hang around at the lake that is full of memories with him. Drove back to Shah Alam, picked Fir at Pelita and send him to his house. Waited until Ili's sister come to fetch her then send Fatnad to tuition class. Go to sunway with Mhmmd Arf around 8.40 pm. Ate Carl's Jr. I went back home at 2.
Saturday : Went to Guardian first thing in the morning to buy hair mask. Pass by Fir's house, see him for a while. Drove straight back home. Take a nap. Messaged Awateef, whether she want to go out for a while. Pick her up and talk for a bit. Awateef's father ask us to pick Fahim at section 2. Sent both of them home. Drop by at my house, change my outfit then Awaina invites me to hang around at Padang Sec 7. I arrive there and sit for a while until a few more lads arrive.
Tag Sira and Fatnad to Bukit 12. Took some pictures together, share our secrets and laughs. Afiq Zulhady pick me up around 9 for dinner. He drove to Extreme Park and eat at Burger King. Then he drove around Subang Jaya, Damansara, Bukit Jelutong and Shah Alam just to kill the time because I'm too afraid to go home since the house is empty. He is so 'effin funny, I crack up whenever he says something. He also have this talented gift of knowing how to talk in so many different accent. My stomach even hurts because I was laughing so hard :-) Drop by at Mcd because I want to drink some Milo. Then he sent me back at 4.
Sunday : Drove to KFC to buy breakfast/lunch. Eat, watch tv, and here I am. Updating this sick blog. Hah I'm famished (!)
Since my family are not at home these few days, my eating habit has completely change. I eat rarely, I drink Soy milk most of the time to keep me full. And if I am really hungry, I would go to some restaurant but end up didn't eat anything because then I don't feel like eating. And I spend most of my money on the car's fuel. I forgot to ask The King for the credit card plus he didn't leave me any money to survive in this cruel world HAHA. 70 ringgit for the car's fuel in 3 days ? That's absurd ! I should most probably ask for a refund from The King.
Sunday, June 21, 2009
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Sunshine
He is my walking sun- slowly dimmed as time goes by. Soon the light is no more, only the darkness is there, smirking at me.
Monday, June 15, 2009
Looking back
He is not in love with me - it was undeniably painful.
I was amazed by how he makes me feel whole the first time we met. I promised myself that I will close my heart to men after my last painful break-up. But he caught me off guard. I break the promise I have made that soon, will break me. There is something about his soft but inviting scent that lingers on my mind. I then decided to speak my mind, I confessed to him. He only shrugged. He is not ready for commitment. My heart sank, it feels as if I was thrown to a raging waves. There is only two choice, wait for him, or move on. I decided to keep on trying to survive this raging waters and wait.
He once took me to this place, a calm and peaceful lake. Just like how I feel when he is by my side. He put his warm arms around my waist. I closed my eyes and inhale his scent. I try to remember his smell, and lock it inside my head. Perhaps I know that someday I would not be as close to him like I was back then. The moment he sat next to me in the driver's seat is always memorable. I always feel like I can only hear his voice even though the hum of the engine and the music is there to accompany us. Months pass by since I confessed. Still there is no sign that I will hear what I want from him. I keep on waiting. I paid no attention to other men that come my way. Only he means the most to me.
I have changed- I do believe so. Ever since he appears in my life, I become more.. pathetic. I tried every single thing to make him fall for me. Then I starts to think. Is he right guy for me ? Why am I waiting for him ? I shook all those thoughts violently. Maybe my inner part is right. Maybe I should just give in. Maybe.
I made it clear to him- in case he forgotten, that I am still waiting for him. And I will wait until he is ready. To my horror, he replied that he love me like his sister only and he is blessed to have a best friend like me. The pain in my chest seems unbearable and I remember hearing myself crying again. I starts to feel sorry for myself. I questioned myself, why did I do all this that I end up hurting myself ? I try my best to erase him from my mind. As if he never existed. Sometimes I can still smell his scent. And all our memories start to come again. My life was never the same as before. I cry myself to sleep, and woke up feeling down.
Maybe there is hope. Maybe if I waited a little longer, he might change his mind. I have to make another decision. Give up and lose this war, or keep on waiting for something that I am not even sure of. The pain of falling in love and being rejected went pass through my body, pulling me under. And I did not resurface.
Goodbye, I love you
I was amazed by how he makes me feel whole the first time we met. I promised myself that I will close my heart to men after my last painful break-up. But he caught me off guard. I break the promise I have made that soon, will break me. There is something about his soft but inviting scent that lingers on my mind. I then decided to speak my mind, I confessed to him. He only shrugged. He is not ready for commitment. My heart sank, it feels as if I was thrown to a raging waves. There is only two choice, wait for him, or move on. I decided to keep on trying to survive this raging waters and wait.
He once took me to this place, a calm and peaceful lake. Just like how I feel when he is by my side. He put his warm arms around my waist. I closed my eyes and inhale his scent. I try to remember his smell, and lock it inside my head. Perhaps I know that someday I would not be as close to him like I was back then. The moment he sat next to me in the driver's seat is always memorable. I always feel like I can only hear his voice even though the hum of the engine and the music is there to accompany us. Months pass by since I confessed. Still there is no sign that I will hear what I want from him. I keep on waiting. I paid no attention to other men that come my way. Only he means the most to me.
I have changed- I do believe so. Ever since he appears in my life, I become more.. pathetic. I tried every single thing to make him fall for me. Then I starts to think. Is he right guy for me ? Why am I waiting for him ? I shook all those thoughts violently. Maybe my inner part is right. Maybe I should just give in. Maybe.
I made it clear to him- in case he forgotten, that I am still waiting for him. And I will wait until he is ready. To my horror, he replied that he love me like his sister only and he is blessed to have a best friend like me. The pain in my chest seems unbearable and I remember hearing myself crying again. I starts to feel sorry for myself. I questioned myself, why did I do all this that I end up hurting myself ? I try my best to erase him from my mind. As if he never existed. Sometimes I can still smell his scent. And all our memories start to come again. My life was never the same as before. I cry myself to sleep, and woke up feeling down.
Maybe there is hope. Maybe if I waited a little longer, he might change his mind. I have to make another decision. Give up and lose this war, or keep on waiting for something that I am not even sure of. The pain of falling in love and being rejected went pass through my body, pulling me under. And I did not resurface.
Goodbye, I love you
Friday, June 12, 2009
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
