and i

what would you feel if your best friend is dying ? and the doctor wouldn't even tell you when he/she'll die. i felt it , afraid of losing the one that you love. i feel frustrated , angry , sad and most of all , GUILTY. because i couldn't do anything to help him. i began to hate myself, when i've seen him cry and heard him said "i don't want to die". it hurts me , it really does. i'll miss the smell of lemon on him. he'd call me at nights and we'll talk about the old days. i'll cry as soon as i hang up.

god , i love him so. now please don't take him away.

random

have you ever :

suddenly feel like crying ?

suddenly feel that you're useless ?

feel like running away ?

feel like screaming your lungs out ?

suddenly feel that you're alone ?

suddenly feel that you're hated by everyone ?

feel like going for suicide ?

feel like running away from home ?

suddenly feel like no one cares about you ?

suddenly feel like killing the person that you hate ?























i have .

hmm

i woke up this morning and i want to check my old laptop and computer, looking for memories and pictures. suddenly i realize, i've changed. a lot. i open this one folder that contains msn & ym conversations that i save. i didn't sound like how i did now. i like changes, but i like the old me. i've been thinking that i'm happier in the past because i have true friends back then. so i would like to dedicate this post for my old friends.

fareq : thank you for always making me happy with your silly jokes. you're never tired with my behavior.

natt : you are always trying to make the best of me and i appreciate you for that.

faa : thanks for having my back whenever i got in a fight. you teach me how to be brave. i will always look up to you.

hasif : thank you, because you always cheer me up when i'm down.

suraya : thanks, bestf. for listening to me when i'm having problems.

spanky : whenever i'm sad, you would pat my head and my worries seems to be gone. thanks abang gemuk.

arif : you teach me that first love will always be bitter. you makes me stronger.

huzaifah : you always cheer me up. those memories in primary school will never be forgotten.

shad : the one who i love the most. you are always there for me, whenever i'm crying, you would poke my forehead and said 'crybaby'. you have my back whenever i lack confidence. i will never leave you alone, i swear.

an old picture. my hair looks different.

asian guys

just got back from the curve. watched 'Death Note Spin Off : L Change The World'. the best anime/manga to real life action movie. i seriously prefer this than the other 2 death note movies. the main character for this series is Kenichi Matsuyama. He's really good at imitating L. he looks just like the character in the comic. too bad my big brother couldn't follow us. i can tell that he's very jealous and frustrated that we watched it before he does since he's a death note freak. haha padan muka kauuuu ! ;p nvm lah, let's watch it again.

then me and my sister went for some karaoke-ing. we sang our heart out. but too bad there's not much new songs available. so i choose some of the songs that we could call 'lagu rempit baiiii'. haha :D

love love love

i've just watched this one korean movie, My tutor friend 2. The story is about this one japanese girl, Junko. she went to korea tu further her studies and she's looking for this one guy that she likes. but she meets with Jong-man and he teaches her to speak in korean more fluently. later on, they fall in love with each other. okay this is my favourite movie other than 'the guy was gorgeous, he was cool' and 'millionaire's first love'. if you're looking for a movie that is full of humor and can make you go 'awwwww', this is the right one.

haha the heroine does not look like that at all ! she's far more beautiful and cute. but the reason why i bought this movie is because of the Jong-man guy. His real name is Park Ki-wong.

Papa, i want him for my birthday present pleaseeeee ? haha okay i think i better stop now. i need to get ready to go to cineleisure for a karaoke night ;) bbyeeee

shop

mama bought a fuchsia dress for me, i LOVE it because it's flowy and it's the dress that i've been looking for. gahaha i love my mom :D i scored two nail polish at elianto for 10 ringgit. it's cheap and i can save some money to buy that belt at topshop. i'm thinking of selling some of my clothes. because i don't wear most of it. baik jual, dapat duit, SHOPPING SAKAAAAAN ! haha wth. i'm in love with cory kennedy's dressup. but it's a bit junkie - sloppy.

gahh i love her style :D

tired

went to ac just now with deedee, el, faris, wawa and iley. spanky said that he's also going to be there with his friends. and guess what ? caped lied to me, he said that he's at his college so he couldn't come. but then there he was, grinning widely in front of me. he said that he wanted to surprise me. what lan ?! haha i had so much fun there, pulling spanky's hair and talking with caped. the gorgeous fida is also hanging out with us. deedee keep telling me how nice fida is. i'm glad that i bring deedee along.

deedee, on the way to ac

spanky, si gemuk tak guna. haha (:

then we went to play foosball. i ask caped to teach me how to play it and let me tell you, he's really really patient. i was like so fucking slow ! he even let me win. haha i love you lah bestf ! you tgk je lah nnti, i lagi hebat main dari you. we left around 4. we're planning to just sleep in the car so el drives us around and i remember seeing deedee sleeping soundlessly. then at 5, el stopped at bj. me, deedee and faris were fast asleep. i wake up around 6.45.

so we went back to shah alam, send faris to his house firstly. because he don't feel so good after drinking. then el bring us to this one place, we can see almost every part of section 7.

after we eat for breakfast, el send deedee then me. as soon as i reach my room, i couldn't help but miss the softness of my mattresses. haha i'll miss hanging out with you guys (: